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//SENT JAN 29TH, 2013 by anonymous

Jaymes,

I have destroyed almost every opportunity that for the first 20 years of my life I was offered. The 10% I took, exploded into things that have carried me this far. There is still so much I have yet to achieve, and as this year gears up. I realize, it’s going to happen. 

What do I want? 

That’s a question that always has as much loaded into it as a magnum. 

I used to know. It was achievement. Then I didnt know, the way only horrible and beautiful events can disturb your vision, leaving you blinded and wandering through the darkness, bumping and stumbling.

I want to create experiences for people that they remember for the rest of their lives. I want to fall in love, be loved, but for some reason break hearts and be needed. I did it alot more when I was younger, before I realized what young love could do, had the power to do rather. Now, I suppose, I am a dark star because I wanted more than anything to fall in love, and have women at my beck and call, and now as I get closer and closer to that goal on a level noone I know has, I feel sad. I feel that loneliness I had get even deeper as I sift through women I realize how few actually have deep love, and caring in them, and the ones that do, are usually surrounded by mountains of shit I don’t know if I have the time to sift through.

So, I hurt, and love, and break, and build. And everytime it doesn’t get any easier. Even as I write this, I can imagine the last girl, looking up at me with loving eyes, or infatuated eyes rather, saying how we were perfect for each other, and I can feel the guilt welling up because god, I wish I could believe that the way I thought I once felt about her before all the truth came to light. 

I guess, I’m just a dark star.

//SENT JAN 10TH, 2013 by anonymous

Hi, Jaymes!

One of your songs that really stood out to me is “Dark Star”.  I just started a new relationship & I’m scared of the stories I will have to share with that person if we continue seeing each other. What I’ve done is the past may not mean anything to the next person but I’ve struggled with it immensely. I would call myself a religious person & growing up my mom always said to “save yourself” for the person you were going to marry. Well I thought I was going to marry my boyfriend of a year and a half when I lost my virginity to him. But I was devastated when our relationship went downhill & he cheated on me & left me like he promised he never would.

I was obviously young but it doesn’t mean that it hasn’t affected me, or changed my life & all my future relationships because I have to explain that decision, I have to explain how at one point I didn’t have respect for myself or stand up for what I believed in. I have stories I could tell if I want to…So I feel like a Dark Star in that way.

Your song made me realize I’m not the only one who made decisions that I’m not proud of & that I will have to share the dark parts but it doesn’t mean that I’m not a good person now.

I really appreciate you wanting to hear from us & I look forward to more music from you, Jaymes!

//SENT MARCH 5TH, 2013 by anonymous

Dear Jaymes,

I never thought of myself as a dark star until I heard your song. But I am. I hide behind a mask Im always almost wearing. Living a life as a wife and mother. Trying to still get past all the hurt he did to me in the past. All the holes in walls, furniture and other items thrown at me or across the room. And all the bruises and pain to me and verbal abuse.  We have come a long way since 3 yrs ago. But im only here for my kids. Thats the real truth. That and I feel stuck. 

I dont really have many friends anymore. I wasnt able to go out much. So i am often feeling lonely and depressed. Im good at hiding it though. Family is really all I have. We pretend to be a happy family. And sometimes its so real. But it never fails that he will always bring me down. And I can never forget him being angry and abusive to me in front of our kids a few times. I can forgive but will never forget. And I will never be ok with that. And no one knows. I hide it. Take it and suck it up. 

At times life can be so good. We seem happy. God knows I try. But the past sneeks in every now and then. And we are reminded of our hate for each other. Hes the type who will never leave me no matter if he is really happy or not. And I guess im the same. I tired once. But thats when the abuse all started. Who knows, maybe one day love can be real again. I dont remember what it feels like to be in love. My children’s love is overwhelming though. They are the sweetest kids and if they think we are a happy family then thats what we will be. 

Ugh now you think im crazy. Life is such a roller coaster for me. Mainly my emotions. I can handle everything else. Its all just habit now. And maybe this is just what i deserve for staying.  Maybe I am pathetic. At least hes trying to be better. We love our kids and want them to have the best. Tonight all I feel is lonely though. Writing this makes me feel a tad better anyways. Its a start. Other then all this…we look like a normal family and act like one (out of the home).  Thats all that matters right. Well this is (some) of my dark star story.  Sorry if it wasnt written well. Im tired as can be and am going to bed now. 

//SENT FEB 2ND, 2013 by Anonymous

Dear Jaymes,

I’m a dark star but a very resilient one. I plan on burning my way into old age. I’ve been through the heartbreak of losing my father to both mental illness, alcoholism, even when he finally passed cleaning heroin kits and well, trash out of his little Seattle apartment. My husband was my best friend and helped me through it but when we returned back home I became sad and he turned to drinking and somewhere along the way he violated my daughter’s boundaries while I was sleeping in the same home. He then confessed to that and to having an affair with a much younger woman from his job and I watched what had been a happy partnership for many years crumble around my feet. He went off to prison and I learned once again how to fly solo. It was scary but the worst of the anxiety and fear was just in my own head.

Transition can cause that free fall feeling.

These experiences have caused me pain I can’t even describe but in time, everything eases and new friendships, stimulating conversations, getting comfortable in my own skin, exploring and even *amazing art & music* helps. Needless to say, I know nothing of your journey or what triggered songs like dark star or moondust but they really hit me hard {in the best way} so thank you and stay inspired. Your voice is amazing.

A few months ago I talked with fans through my email address yungjaymes@gmail.com. This was an eye opening experience. My account was quickly overwhelmed with very honest and humbling stories, that inspired me to work harder and to make music from a more honest place.

I want to connect more with fans, through the music and through conversation.

I’m relaunching jaymesyng.com as a message board of sorts. I’ve reached out to a few of you that sent through stories, and I’m going to start posting your stories on this site (with your permission). And if you haven’t done so already, feel free to message yungjaymes@gmail.com if you want to contribute.

I’d like for this to be an opportunity for people to relate to one another through the music they listen to and the stories they have.  

*and of course, I’ll be posting here regularly…so watch out for that. New EP coming soon.

Thanks for being so inspiring and honest.

Love,

Jaymes